24 June 2008

the corporate offices of 'the name of this band is the talking heads' have moved

to 68 richardson st apartment 501 brooklyn ny 11211

please direct all inquiries there

23 June 2008

nintendo 64

i want to buy a nintendo 64

i want golden eye 64 and four controllers

does anyone want to sell me that

tell me how much money

21 June 2008

my magazine is having an event thursday

the name of this band is the talking heads, in collaboration with the agriculture reader, is having a thing at 7pm this coming thursday, june 26 at the kgb bar (85 east 4 st, at 2nd ave.) copies of both publications will be for sale. there will also be readings by anthony mccann, jeremy schmall, justin taylor and mark doten.

again:

the name of this band is the talking heads / the agriculture reader

kgb bar

85 e 4 st (at 2nd)

thursday june 26

7pm

anthony mccann / jeremy schmall / justin taylor / mark doten

bring a lot of money

20 June 2008

creative writing

16 June 2008

this is a personal ad

i want to lie down next to someone

and maybe take painkillers, but since they're hard to get probably just drink gin

and listen to early spiritualized, or something

and be really quiet

sometimes i'll say things like 'hi'

and you'll say 'hi'

quietly and nervously sort of

like a mouse

update

15 June 2008

patti smith was a nigger

i think i drink water too fast or something

i blogged here

philadelphia fucking sucks

13 June 2008

new wayne is motherfucking fire

last night

i called catherine and then later she called me back and then later i was like 'i feel sad that catherine didn't call me back' and then tao said 'i thought she did call you back' and then i remembered and i said 'oh yeah. i'm glad she called me back'

10 June 2008

foreign islands

my blog has gotten really bad

i'm going to start making it better maybe

i think i'm going to make a new blog with just videos of me drinking

so this blog will be literary again

okay

09 June 2008

going away present

04 June 2008

picture of me eating a cheese fry sandwich *INTENSE*

02 June 2008

solomon j. guggenheim fellowship

video

i'm buying two pairs of pants from american apparel and thai food and maybe beer

'i think if my life could get any worse, this blog post would make my life worse'

25 May 2008

feeling lost

i feel like a character in a brett easton ellis novel

i've been listening to the album 'so much for the afterglow' by everclear a lot

i don't know if i like obama or hilary more

i don't know what i want to eat today

21 May 2008

out of control gay alcoholic teenager

20 May 2008

healthiness

video

verdict unhealthy.

16 May 2008

listening to the rolling stones and thinking about how they looked in the 1960s and 1970s makes me feel really happy

i like the rolling stones a lot

are there any books about the rolling stones that i would enjoy reading?

i am going to write a poem about the rolling stones soon

i am going to submit it to something

i am going to start submitting to things

the rolling stones

'amazing'

14 May 2008

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert is dreaming. Robert and his English teacher are standing between a chalkboard and a white screen. Robert touches his English teacher’s breasts, over her blouse. He thinks “She probably got her blouse at Fashion Bug.” Robert kisses his English teacher’s face. He says “You’re hot.” Robert winces. He touches his English teacher’s crotch, over her khaki pants. Robert pushes his middle finger and his forefinger up. Robert’s English teacher’s face tilts back. Robert kisses his English teacher’s neck. Robert’s English teacher makes a sound. Robert feels sad.

12 May 2008

not from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

11 May 2008

change in 'the name of this band is the talking heads'

i have rejected every submission except for tao lin's so far

i have decided to change the format

only submit whole books of poetry (25-30 poems)

you don't need to spend a lot of time on them

but they have to be really good

i think like an hour and a half to two hours writing them and one half hour to one hour editing them should be enough

i will pay you $75 upon publication if i accept your book

thank you

issue 2 is available

paypal $5 to [email protected] and i'll send you issue 2

worst blog post ever

10 May 2008

Eifel Tower!!!!!!!!!YEAH!!!

07 May 2008

update

'the name of this band is the talking heads' volume 1 issue 2 features poetry exclusively by me, and is 'officially' out next friday, may 16, though will be available for mail-order starting tomorrow

'the name of this band is the talking heads' volume 1 issue 3 is going to feature poetry exclusively by tao lin, and will be 'officially' out may 30

submissions for 'the name of this band is the talking heads' volume 1 issue 4 will be considered until midnight, june 7, and will be 'officially' out june 13.

no one has submitted to my magazine yet UPDATE

06 May 2008

video by tao lin of me reading at kgb bar 5/2/08

04 May 2008

'the name of this band is the talking heads' is now a magazine looking for submissions

03 May 2008

'the name of this band is the talking heads'

30 April 2008

update

26 April 2008

miles ross interviewed me for his blog

click here to read it

if you have a blog, or are just interested in learning more about me, and would like to interview me, email me

i like being interviewed

update:

daryl the blacksmith interviewed me

my recollection of this interview is hazy at best

23 April 2008

zacpistol

2004-2006

21 April 2008

philadelphia

20 April 2008

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert wakes up. His mouth is dry. It’s three AM. Robert is wearing pants and socks. The bedside light is on. Robert goes downstairs. The lights are on. The TV is showing the DVD player’s screen saver. Jim is asleep on the couch. Robert pours a glass of water. He drinks of water. Robert pours another glass of water. He drinks the water. He puts the glass in the sink. Robert thinks “I hope my mouth isn’t always dry.” Robert goes upstairs. He sits near his computer. He plays the album Curtis by 50 Cent. He thinks “I like this.” Robert goes on gmail. He has no new email. He thinks “I wish I had new email.” Robert thinks “I just woke up and I wish you were awake and I wish you were here.” He thinks “I am deep.” Robert looks at a bag of cashews. He thinks “Will I ever have a girlfriend again? Will eating cashews make my mouth dryer? Should I take off my socks?”

hi

19 April 2008

i wish i had kombucha

18 April 2008

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert’s parents have a Halloween party. There are fake cobwebs and fake spiders. Robert’s parents and their friends wear costumes. Robert feels happy. Robert sits on the couch. Robert eats peanuts and small hotdogs. He drinks soda. Robert goes to bed.

17 April 2008

pabst blue update

16 April 2008

lil' wayne - lollipop

this is lil' wayne's most popular song so far i think

i read that on wikipedia sort of

when i first heard this song i said out loud 'this is lil' wayne's worst song ever'

i like it now though

he uses a vocoder a lot in this song

i like the beat

he says 'that pussy in my mouth had me lost for words'

lil' wayne has said in several songs that he likes performing oral sex on women

lil' wayne has said in several songs that he does not like it when women put a finger in his ass during sex

i thought i had more to say on this topic

i like lil' wayne

download

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert looks at pornography. He masturbates. Robert walks to the bathroom. He takes a shower. He thinks “No work today.” Robert takes all the sheets off his bed. He lies on his bed. He plays the album Sticky Fingers by The Rolling Stones. He looks out the window. He feels sad. Robert gets out of bed. He looks at pornography. He thinks “If I can focus on something in pornography other than cumshots maybe I will be more compassionate or something. And like stand a chance of having an actual relationship.” Robert plays the song Underneath It All by No Doubt. He looks at a cumshot. Robert ejaculates. Robert walks to the bathroom. He takes a shower. He cries. Robert feels sad. Robert walks to his room. He looks at himself in the mirror. He looks at his penis. He thinks “My penis feels bad.” Robert looks out the window. He puts on underwear. He puts on jeans. He puts on a thermal undershirt. Robert puts on a pink t-shirt for the band The Ballet. Robert lies on his bed. Robert’s cat lies on Robert’s stomach. Robert looks at the ceiling. He closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath. Robert’s cat leaves. He thinks “Okay.”

my cat shirley is freakin' cute!!

my friend jesse made a sweet megamix

every time a police officer gets shot i throw a party calls it 'better than girl talk'

*

people have been doing things that i like

tao lin talked about it

14 April 2008

sometimes it's hard to tell if people are hipsters or just recent immigrants

watch this

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert takes a shower. He walks to his bedroom. He gets dressed. Robert is happy. He walks downstairs. He washes the dishes. He thinks “I am always happy when I get drunk and don’t fuck things up too bad. I always think, ‘That was, that was dumb. But I’m fine, and you know, I learned something.’ But then I just always whatever.” Robert lies on the couch. He thinks “Remote control.” Robert gets up. He looks at a pile of DVDs. He picks one up. It is Lost in Translation. Robert turns on the DVD player. He inserts Lost in Translation. Robert turns on the TV. He presses play. Robert lies on the couch. He feels sad. He thinks “I want someone to put their arms around me. Maybe I should stop eating wheat altogether.”

13 April 2008

the beatles white album

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Paul hugs Robert. Robert says “I’ll email you about Thursday.”
Paul says “Okay. Goodnight.”
Robert says “Goodnight.” Paul walks away. Robert calls Emily.
Emily says “Hello?”
Robert says “Hi Emily.”
Emily says “Hi, how are you?”
Robert says “You know, I’m okay, you know.”
Emily says “Yeah.” Robert thinks “Emily sounds distracted.”
Robert says “What are you, um, what are you doing?”
Emily says “Pretending to do homework.” Robert thinks “I don’t want to have this conversation. Robert says “Yeah. Do you have much homework?”
Emily says “I have a paper due Friday.”
Robert says “What class?”
Emily says “It’s for dance, I just have to write a paper about some random person, but I haven’t decided who yet, so that’s what I’m doing.”
Robert says “Okay. Alright.”
Emily says “You’re crazy.”
Robert says “Alright then.” Robert says “I don’t know do you want to hang out?”
Emily says “Probably not tonight, but I’m not doing anything tomorrow. Do you want me to give you a call tomorrow?”
Robert says “Sure, yeah. Cool.”
Emily says “Okay, have a good night.”
Robert says “Goodnight.” He goes to Borders. The album Challengers by the New Pornographers is playing in Borders. Robert goes up an escalator. He feels sad. He looks at a book about the Great Wall of China. Robert thinks “Can I talk to one of the girls that work here about the New Pornographers? Probably not, right? You don’t talk to people at their jobs.” Robret feels sad. He is near the escalator. He thinks “I’m going to talk to that girl that works here. I’m just going to say something, because I have to talk to someone.” A Mexican man is standing behind Robert. Robert thinks “I need to go down the escalator.” Robert goes down the escalator. Robert leaves Borders. Robert feels sad. He goes to a grocery store. He looks at a large bag of organic corn chips. It costs three dollars and forty nine cents. He leaves the grocery store. He goes into another grocery store. He looks at a small bag of organic pretzels. It costs one dollar and ninety nine cents. He leaves the grocery store. He looks in the window of a guitar store. He goes to WholeFoods. He looks at a small bag of organic vegetable chips. It costs seventy nine cents. He buys a five pound bag of organic russet potatoes. It costs three dollars and ninety nine cents. He sees Dan riding a bike. He says “Hey Dan.”
Dan says “Hey Robert. What’s up man?”
Robert says “I don’t know. What are you doing?”
Dan says “Just going to the beer store.”
Robert says “Oh yeah? You’re drinking beer tonight?” Dan smiles. Robert smiles.
Dan says “I drink beer every night, so yeah.”
Robert says “I was just going to head over to your house and see if you guys were drinking beer.”
Dan says “I could uh pick something up for you, though I’m already picking up… well, yeah I guess I probably could.”
Robert says “That would be great.” Robert takes a five dollar bill from his pocket. “Could you get me a forty of O.E.?”
Dan says “Sure. Yeah alright. I’ll just see you over there then.”
Robert says “Thanks man.” Robert walks to Dan’s house. Robert goes inside. Robert sees Amelia and Jerry and Mary. Robert thinks “They are all surprised and happy to see me. Earlier, Dan was surprised and happy to see me.” Robert talks to people. Robert feels happy. Dan comes back with the beer.
Dan says “Robert I’m sorry man, no forties of OE, I gotcha two twenty four ounce cans.”
Robert says “That’s good. Thank you.” Robert puts one can of malt liquor in the refrigerator and opens the other one. Robert drinks malt liquor. Robert and Amelia make french fries together. Robert feels happy. Everyone goes outside. Everyone smokes cigarettes. Robert and Dan ride bikes to the pretzel factory and the beer store. They get pretzels and beer. They go back to Dan’s house. Everyone is in Amelia’s bedroom. Robert opens his second can of malt liquor. Robert drinks malt liquor. Robert makes faces at Amelia. Amelia makes faces at Robert. Robert thinks “I have no idea how Amelia feels about me.” Robert wakes up on Amelia’s bedroom floor. There is mustard on Robert’s pants. There is a little mustard on Robert’s left shoe. Robert stands up. He thinks “I feel okay.” He looks at his cell phone. It is 6:15 AM. Robert goes downstairs. He washes his hands and face. He looks at the mustard on his clothes. He thinks “Whatever.” He goes to the front door. He unlocks it. He opens it. He goes outside. He tries to lock it. He closes it. It isn’t locked. Robert looks at the door. He thinks “Fuck.” Robert walks away. Amelia opens the door. She looks at Robert. Robert looks at the mustard on his clothes. He looks at Amelia.
Amelia says “Oh, bye.”
Robert says “Bye.” He thinks “I feel like I’m wearing headphones, or something.” He walks to his house. He feels happy. He thinks “I like to see people walking in the morning. I am thirsty.” Robert goes inside his house.
Jim says “Hey Rob. Just get back from partying?”
Robert says “I just woke up on Alison’s bedroom floor.”
John says, “Oh; you were over there?”
Robert says “Yeah.” Robert pours a glass of water. He drinks the water. He feels better. He pours another glass of water. He drinks it. He puts the glass in the sink. He says “I’m going to bed.” He walks to his bedroom. He takes his clothes off. He gets in bed. He uses his Mac remote to put on the album The Ramones by The Ramones. He picks up the book Then We Came To The End by Joshua Ferris. He reads the first twenty pages. He thinks “Should I go back to sleep?” He walks to his computer. He goes on Facebook. He changes his status to “Robert is I just woke up and I’m not sure whether or not I should go back to sleep. PS: I’m drunk.” Robert walks to the bathroom. He washes his face and hands. Robert walks to his bedroom. He gets in his bed. Robert falls sleep.

12 April 2008

all i want

is just for lil' wayne to say that i'm okay

that i'm his 'nigga, b'

for life

11 April 2008

tao lin reading 'moby'

10 April 2008

forthcoming

i have a story in a gay fiction anthology called 'cool thing'

it's called 'wolf's teeth'

it's an excerpt from my novel

the phrase 'wolf's teeth' comes from the song 'heartbeats' by the knife

'cool thing' is coming out november 2008 on running press

it was edited by blair mastbaum

there is a blog about the book

the word 'moby' is pleasing to look at, for me

here is a song by 'the streets' called 'could well be in'

it makes me feel good and also sad or lonely or something

i have listened to it ten times today i think

i don't like the song right after it on the album

when the next song comes on i feel upset

then i press the back button on my ipod twice

and i feel happy

does anyone with a print magazine – even a dumb one – want a poem i wrote called 'the nike swoosh is beautiful'? i want to be in a print magazine

09 April 2008

npr is good

video

from "The Back Porch of My Heart"

yesterday i was wearing a blue and yellow striped rugby shirt

i was in central park

i saw a black man who was wearing a blue and yellow striped rugby shirt

he was wearing a black jacket over his blue and yellow striped rugby shirt, but it was open

i looked at him

i said 'we're wearing the same shirt, kind of'

i looked at the sky

the black man looked at me

he looked at his shirt

the black man said 'yep, just about'

the black man looked at me

i looked at the black man

lil' wayne is the best rapper alive

i started to walk away

the black man said 'have a good one'

i stopped walking

i looked at the black man

i said 'you too'

07 April 2008

'return to the 36 chambers - the dirty version'

i listened to the first ol' dirty bastard record the other day for the first time in a couple years

i listened to it two more times since then

i like it

it is called 'return to the 36 chambers - the dirty version'

i think the album has qualities that people who write for magazines would call 'raw'

the ol' dirty bastard sounds 'confused' and 'angry'

in the song 'raw hide,' the ol' dirty bastard says 'i wanna see blood / whether it's period blood / or bustin' your fuckin' face / some blood!'

i like it when the ol' dirty bastard says that

the ol' dirty bastard says other things that i like

i had stopped caring about the wu tang clan by the time the ol' dirty bastard died

02 April 2008

rick moody sucks, yeah yeah

i forget

i think something smells weird in my apartment or something

i hear weird sounds all the time

i think this might be it

if you know what i mean

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

The song “William It Was Really Nothing” by The Smiths is playing. Robert’s cell phone rings. Robert pauses the song “William It Was Really Nothing.” Robert looks at his cell phone. Robert sees that Rachel is calling. Robert unplugs his cell phone from his cell phone charger. Robert presses the green button on his cell phone. Robert puts his cell phone to his ear. He says “Hello.”
Rachel says “Hello.” No one says anything for a little while. Robert hears voices in the background. Rachel says “Sorry I was speaking so quietly this morning; Mike was asleep and I didn’t want to wake him up.”
Robert says “That’s okay; that’s what I thought.”
Rachel says “What?”
Robert says “That’s okay,” a little louder this time. No one says anything for a little while.
Rachel says “Do you feel depressed?”
Robert says “Yes.”
Rachel says “About Mike?”
Robert says “I don’t know.”
Rachel says “About drugs?”
Robert says “About you, sort of.”
Rachel says “Oh.” No one says anything for a little while. Rachel says “Do you know anyone who has a bike you could borrow?” No one says anything for a little while. Rachel says “Are you there?”
Robert says “No, I can’t think of anyone.”
Rachel says “Oh. I’m going on a bike ride tonight and I wanted to know if you wanted to go.”
Robert says “Oh. Thank you.” No one says anything for a little while.
Rachel says “I’m sorry I’ve been such a bad friend to you.”
Robert says “That’s okay.” He is crying quietly.
Rachel says “I always told you I was a shitty person. Richard tried to do the same thing, tried to get me to be better, but it just ended up ruining our relationship.” No one says anything for a little while.
Robert says “I’m sorry that you think you’re a shitty person and that you let that influence your choices.”
Rachel says “What?” She says “You’re sorry that I think I’m a shitty person and what?”
Robert says “I’m just sorry that you think that.” No one says anything for a little while.
Rachel says “I guess I’m getting better. I’m not addicted to heroin anymore, and I’m exercising a lot more.”
Robert says “Good.” No one says anything for a little while. Robert hears voices in the background.
Rachel says “I’m sorry I don’t know how to make you feel better.”
Robert says “No that’s okay.”
Rachel says “What?” Robert takes his cell phone away from his ear. He presses the red button on his cell phone. Robert connects his cell phone to his cell phone charger. He plays the song “William It Was Really Nothing” by The Smiths.

happening

01 April 2008

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert’s cell phone rings. Robert looks at his cell phone. His cell phone says “lydia s.” Robert feels sad. Robert picks up his cell phone. Robert looks at his cell phone. He answers his cell phone. He says “Lydia?”
Lydia says “Robert. Ugh.”
Robert says “Are you alright?
Lydia says “No. Ugh. I don’t know.” Robert feels sad.
Robert says “What? What’s going on?”
Lydia says “Ugh. Tony’s… ugh.” Lydia is crying. “Ugh. I don’t know; it’s a long story. I just wanted to hear your voice.” Robert feels sad. Lydia says “Yeah. Yeah, no that’s all. I’m drunk, I don’t know. I’m sorry. I just think about you. I don’t know. Like I know you’re the only positive thing in my life.” Robert is crying. Lydia says “What?”

31 March 2008

what i have been doing

25 March 2008

the ten songs with the highest play counts on my ipod and their respective play counts

1. take ecstasy with me by the magnetic fields; 78
2. paper planes by m.i.a.; 77
3. temptation by new order; 76
4. fight test by the flaming lips; 61
5. tears dry on their own by amy winehouse, 58
6. gold soundz by pavement; 56
7. entering white cecilia by the new pornographers; 54
8. wild horses by the rolling stones; 52
9. my rights versus yours by the new pornographers; 50
10. bennie and the jets by elton john; 48

12 March 2008

update

i got a job

unless i fuck something up i am okay

i like andy warhol

11 March 2008

untitled

A sixteen year old girl is holding a Vitamin Water container.
She has blond hair,
a nose,
parents and
a coat by Moschino Jeans.

08 March 2008

i took this video down but it is up again due to popular demand

06 March 2008

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert and Jordan go up five flights of stairs. Robert knocks on a door. Jordan is holding a brown paper bag. Inside the brown paper bag is a bottle of organic Merlot. Robert says “I hear things moving inside. I think I can hear someone shuffling cards.” The door opens. Jordan hugs someone.
Jordan says “Robert, this is Sloan; Sloan, Robert.”
Robert says “How do you do” and puts out his hand. Robert and Sloan shake hands. Robert and Jordan go into Alice’s apartment. There is a small dog. Robert sits on a chair. Jordan sits on the floor. Robert sees Tom. Robert says “Hi Tom.”
Tom says “Hi Robert.” Tom is eating edameme.
Robert sees a girl. Robert says “Who are you?”
The girl says “Margot.” Robert notices that the girl does not ask him his name. They open the bottle of wine. They are watching The Ice Storm. Robert says “We should watch Garden State.” Tom agrees. Robert says it’s his birthday. Sloan doesn’t want to watch Garden State. Robert asks Margot what her favorite band is. She doesn’t have one. Robert thinks “Her favorite band should be Stereolab. She is skinny and likes ecstasy and Marx, probably.” Margot asks Robert what his favorite band is. It is Pavement. They watch Garden State.
Sloan says “So what do you do?”
Robert says “I’m an actor, mostly. Like that is my passion.”
Sloan says “Really?”
Jordan says “No it isn’t.” Robert feels mad at Jordan. Robert thinks “Jordan is a fucking snitch.” They talk for a little while longer. Robert finishes his third glass of wine and says that he has to go. He leaves. He buys kombucha and seaweed and gets on a bus. Robert goes home. Robert feels okay.

27 February 2008

i don't live in philadelphia anymore

i am in new jersey right now

tomorrow i am putting things in new york city

26 February 2008

i just found out that there is another blog

it is by my friend travis

he is really good at a lot of tasks

here is the address: http://travisgaston.blogspot.com

24 February 2008

i got a place

it's at bushwick and halsey in bushwick

it's fine

it's a room

the walls are white

the walls are dirty

a lit slut and i jumped on the bed for eighteen seconds and then the bed broke

there is roof access

21 February 2008

i might be a 'bad person'

someone gave me a $50 gift certificate to macy's as a 'going-away present'

i hope i 'go-away'

***

i tried to upload pictures of me wearing my onesie but my internet sucks

19 February 2008

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert leaves his job. He walks to a street that a bus goes down and walks down it. A few blocks before the halfway point between his job and his house the bus comes. Robert doesn’t get on it. Robert passes a Chinese restaurant. He looks inside and sees people. He misses Alice. He touches his back pocket. He feels sad. He thinks about his cell phone. He gets to his house. He looks in the mailbox. There is nothing in the mailbox. Robert unlocks his front door and goes inside. It is dark. He turns on the light. He turns off the fan. He says “Hello,” loudly. There is an echo sort of. Robert feels sad. There is a padded envelope on the kitchen table. Robert looks at it. It says his name. He opens it. It is a t-shirt for the band Broken Social Scene. Robert feels happy. Robert feeds the cats. Robert goes upstairs with the t-shirt. Robert checks his email. Robert has two new email. Robert feels happy. He talks to someone on gmail chat for a few minutes. Robert changes his gmail status from “Available” to “i am taking a shower.” Robert takes a shower. Robert puts on the new t-shirt. Robert tries on different pairs of pants. He picks one that he thinks looks best with the new t-shirt. He tries on different pairs of shoes. He picks a pair that he thinks looks best with the new t-shirt and pants. Robert checks his email. He has no new email. He changes his gmail status from “i am taking a shower” to the URL for a video on youtube of kittens playing. Robert writes an email and then deletes it. Robert thinks “I sort of want to smoke.” Robert brushes his teeth and takes his contacts out. Robert puts on the album “Lambent Material” by Eluvium. Robert turns the lights out. Robert lies down. He opens the window slightly. He thinks “Should I go to the bathroom? What will happen if I should go to the bathroom but don’t?” Robert feels uncertain.

18 February 2008

poem i am about to write

we took the same bus to new york city, accidentally, and you sat next to me, and we talked for fifteen minutes
you took a nap and i played tetris
we walked to the subway together
you asked me whose train would come first and i said mine, and i acted confident

your train came first and i stood by myself on the subway platform
i felt sad

later i had fun with my friends in new york city
i ate good food and didn't have to lie

later i went home
i wish you and i were close at all

17 February 2008

thanks gene: a short film

video

15 February 2008

update

09 February 2008

bear parade

my book Eat When You Feel Sad is up at bear parade


NOTE: Eat When You Feel Sad is both the name of my bear parade book and the novel I am currently working on. When posts on this blog are called from "Eat When You Feel Sad" they are rough drafts of things for my novel, and are probably not in the bear parade book.

03 February 2008

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert’s alarm goes off at 8:30 and he turns it off. Robert wakes up again at 11:45. He uses his Apple remote to put on the song Friend of the Devil by The Grateful Dead. His feet are cold. He gets out of bed and sees what time it is and feels sad and surprised. He plays Tetris for an hour, every ten minutes or so ignoring one of the cats scratching at his bedroom door. He puts on clothes and walks to PathMark and buys two bags of cat food and a small container of organic lemon juice. At home he takes a vitamin B12 supplement and then feeds the cats. He can’t find the one half cup measuring cup so he uses the one quarter cup measuring cup twice.

30 January 2008

re-up anthem

i feel cold
i am confused

earlier i was hungry

my face is wet

25 January 2008

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert is bored. He goes on gmail. His internet is being slow. He opens iTunes. He plays the song The Great Escape by Gwen Stefani featuring Akon. He remembers riding in a car with two girls one time, looking for parking. He thinks about calling one of the girls. He remembers that he doesn’t have her number anymore, and that she doesn’t like him. He types “gwen” in the iTunes search field. He listens to the song Can I Have It Like That by Pharrel featuring Gwen Stefani. The volume is low. Robert feels hungry. Robert thinks “I wish I had some organic junk food. I want to eat junk food.” Robert wants to go to sleep. Robert goes on gmail. Peter is on. Robert says “hi” to Peter. Peter says “hi” to Robert. Robert thinks “Peter probably doesn’t want me to say ‘hi’ unless I have something to follow it. I don’t know what I am doing.” Robert’s house is dirty. Robert thinks “I’m not sure what would make me feel better right now.” Robert’s back hurts. Robert thinks “Chinese food might make me feel better for a little while. I want to smoke but I think I will throw up.” Robert thinks about calling Tom. Robert looks at his bed. Robert thinks “My room is pretty clean.” Robert thinks “I wish I lived in a better part of town.” Robert takes off his shoes. Robert looks on craigslist for apartments for rent. Robert thinks “My lease doesn’t end for a while.” Robert thinks “I don’t want to do anything.” Robert looks at pictures from a party on his friend’s blog. Robert feels a little better. He tries to leave a comment but his internet is being slow. He thinks “The comment I would leave would be ‘hey hey.’” Kevin says “hey” to Robert on gmail. Robert thinks “I am going to ignore him so he will like me more.” Robert thinks “Do people in my situation hit their heads against the wall sometimes? Why would someone do that?” Robert turns off the lights and lies down. Robert lights a candle. Robert feels hungry.

22 January 2008

i like this story by gene morgan

http://www.titular-journal.com/015.htm

20 January 2008

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

“You should chew your food more,” he says. Robert agrees, and doesn’t put any more food in his mouth.
Robert chews for five seconds and then swallows some falafel and then says “I agree with you.” Robert says “I don’t chew enough. People that are into macribiotics are all about chewing. I would suck at macrobiotics.”
Tom says “Yeah you would.” Robert feels sad.
The waitress says “Is everything alright?”
Tom says “Yeah it’s great.” Robert chews more. Robert drinks mint tea. Tom says “I love mint tea.” Robert thinks “I should start doing sit-ups. Everyday. Fifty sit-ups. Right when I wake up. And before bed.” Robert thinks “I have a gut.” Robert feels really sad. He feels cold even though it is warm in the restaurant. Robert thinks about temperature and how everything is relative. Robert thinks about moral relevatism.
Robert says “A cool t-shirt would be white and would have a like really grainy, like newspaper or something black and white picture of Adolf Hitler, and then like, above the picture it would say ‘Hitler’ and below it it would say ‘Rules.’ Like in the same font as on Suicidal Tendencies records. Or else with like a three instead of an e and stuff.” Robert feels surprised that he was able to say so many words in a row. Robert thinks “I like Tom.”
Tom says “That would be a really good idea for a t-shirt. You should make that t-shirt.” Robert thinks about how fun it would be to live in a warehouse. Robert feels sad.
Robert says “It wouldn’t be like for everyday use, it would just be for like a photograph or something, I think.” Robert thinks “I’m not sure.” Robert regrets what he just said. He thinks there might be something wrong with him, physically. Robert wants to sing something by The Mothers of Invention but can’t remember any of their songs.

15 January 2008

hang out poem

my roommate has a key to your house, and we’ll walk inside and feel warm, and we’ll go downstairs
i’ll remember what it’s like to be in a room full of people i’ll never be close to and i’ll say hi
there will be music and pot

i’ll make jokes to the people sitting near me and one will smile and another will make new jokes, jokes that will make my jokes seem like non-jokes
on the couch across the room, someone i’ve never seen before will have his arm around you, and you’ll be looking at the ceiling and smiling

soon the beer will be gone and soon so will we
on the walk home i’ll wish i could disappear
that someone in a white van would abduct me
and molest me forever

14 January 2008

there are 44 numbers in my phone

one is my job
one is my ex-girlfriend
one is someone whose gender i am unclear about
one is a friend of a friend, mostly
one is someone i don’t know, he is a cool guy though, i have seen him three times
one was my best friend for a while in high school
one is someone who told me i was full of shit, and i said i know and it is just a joke, and she said yeah, and that’s why you’re full of shit
two are the same person
three are my parents
one is someone who i think i wrote poems about having a crush on over a year ago and i feel totally distanced from feeling that way, but when i see him i feel good and okay, i have fun when i see him and feel like he is my peer, i feel depressed and numb sort of right now
one is also a friend of a friend, sort of, i could delete her from my phone
one is a kid who we wrote weird things about on the bathroom wall in high school, we all did
one is a girl i went from highschol with, and when me and my ex-girlfriend walk by a certain street in lower manhattan it will remind me of being stupid and remind her of hating me or something
one lent me the first season of the x-files on dvd
one didn’t answer my calls for months and years but does now, and whenever i see him i tell him how glad i am that we’re friends, and he says yeah
one is a girl i work with who sewed my pants onetime when there was a hole in the pocket, and the hole came back right away, but she is nice
one is my roommate
one got arrested for “car-shopping” is i think what they call it, when they just like steal shit out of parked cars
one is a boy i was friends with in high school, i pretend to like his sister and also did like his sister, i still think she is a cute girl, but i’m not sure about anything, now
one i had a crush on and still have a crush on
one i’ve never called and can’t imagine when i will, huh
one i met once and then again a few months later but i felt tired and nervous about other things both times
one i told once that i was just staying friends with him because we were going to see yo la tengo together and i didn’t want that to be awkward, i think is how it went
one is only a first name in my phone, but i feel distanced enough from her that i think a last name is due
one is a girl i’ve slept on the same bed with the last few times i’ve slept on the same bed with a girl, but i’m not sure if we like each other, she’s nice though and good
one i’ve got to delete! though she texted me on new years, and everybody else too probably
one i feel embarrassed and stupidly proud at the same time when i’m seen with him
one i feel so sad when i see her name
one i talk so much shit about, i don’t know what’s going to happen
one is my friend’s brother
one came to my parents’ house and played scrabble and didn’t want orange juice or apple cider
one is in what, atlanta right now? i called her the other night and she wasn’t in the same city as me and i felt sad
one is a good guy, a good kid, i feel sad right now too
one i used to work with and is a really good guy
one didn’t hang out with me recently because he had already made plans, but i felt like it was an insult anyway
one is i don’t know why i have her number in my phone either
one is under a different name than i thought it would be, i’ll call her now that i remember i have her number, maybe
one and i have to get chinese food again, and lots of times again, we have to don’t we
one is my boss
one is my best friend
one was my best friend in first grade

04 January 2008

poem in two voices

i

i will make significantly more than one half of our decisions
most of our dreams will come true
i will feel disappointment when some do not
you will hate me right away



ii

i will say something once and then never again
i will use only body language that i know you will never pick up on
it will never feel quite right for my head to be resting on your shoulder, and i will die not knowing what you do with your time alone

31 December 2007

new interview

i got drunk and wrote a poem about it

24 December 2007

I pee

Sometimes I will flush the toilet before I am finished peeing so that by the time I am finished peeing the toilet will already be flushing and it will be a really smooth transition.

Sometimes it works perfectly and is so beautiful.

Sometimes the flush takes less time than I anticipate, and I pee for a few seconds after the toilet has already been flushed.

23 December 2007

how i feel right now

good

full

bored

warm

update:

Hi.


Is everyone feeling happy?

I am going now. I am going to Alaska. I am going to Cleveland, Ohio. I am going to Dayton, Ohio. I am going to Elbows, Mashed Potatos. My car is a hernia. I am in constant need of scrotum care. My scrotum and also my ears need to be waxed.

Goodbye.

18 December 2007

there are 32 numbers in my phone

one is my job
four are girls i’ve kissed
five are people i work with
one is someone i like to see sometimes but would not confide in, or something
two are people that seem to like me, but i really want them to like me a lot
three are my parents
four are people i used to live with in a big stupid house a couple blocks from where i am sitting right now
four are people i went to high school with
one is my roommate
one is someone i had a crush on before, but now really just want to be not-very-close-friends with
one is someone who gave me her number on facebook
one is someone i might go to a movie with tomorrow as friends
one is someone who gave me her number the other night but i’m not sure if it was because i asked for it or if it was because she wanted to
i think i should just try to be not-very-close-friends with this person, i think that could be good
one is someone who told me that i don’t really know anything about the world
one is someone who left town for a month or two and i saw him couple days ago and i was really happy to see him, he’s back
one is someone i like and who likes me and i hope we become friends

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert gives Jim’s cat cat medicine because Jim is in New Jersey. Robert is nervous that he won’t be able to do it but then he does it. Robert thinks “I feel accomplished.” Robert feels sad. Robert goes upstairs. He listens to the album Slow Wonder by AC Newman. He wishes there was a girl he could lie down next to and smoke. He calls Jess and hopes that she’ll invite him over but instead they make plans to see a movie tomorrow. Robert wonders how he can get out of it. They talk for twenty minutes. Jess says she has work early and then they stop talking. Robert checks his email. He feels comfortable, temperature-wise. He calls Jane and then listens to No Gods, No Managers by Choking Victim. He wants to smoke but doesn’t. He talks to someone on gmail chat. Jane text messages Robert and then does it again ten minutes later. Robert feels pretty good. He decides Jane isn’t that cool and smokes. He changes his sweater and thinks about taking a shower.

11 December 2007

something

a year ago i carried a narrow notebook with me and wrote things that i thought and one of them was "who is rick moody?" and when i got home i looked him up on the internet and wrote down that he was a writer and also the name of his most famous novel

10 December 2007

Interview with Ken Baumann

Ken Baumann has a blog. He interviewed me.

Me: Ken, do you have a favorite Rolling Stones song? I have one. I bet yours is different from mine.

Ken: I like the song Angie, although I feel kind of corny when listening to it. Maybe Sympathy For The Devil. I would say Sympathy For The Devil, I guess.

Me: Mine is Wild Horses. Do you or have you ever had a favorite brand of cigarettes or other tobacco product and why?

Ken: I do not smoke cigarettes, but I will smoke a cigar once a month, maybe. I never liked cigarettes. I didn't feel very different after smoking a cigarette. I did not feel more calm. Also, my father also is addicted to smoking and I think addiction is bad. I don't want to become addicted so I do not smoke and pay money to "Big Tobacco".

Me: Describe one favorite article of clothing.

Ken: I own a t-shirt that was I had to ask for on a commercial shoot for IHOP. I told the wardrobe girl that I would propose to her if she gave me the shirt and she did and I did. She said no. It is a blue t-shirt, dark blue. Kind of fucked looking. It has a pocket on the left breast, and the pocket forms a little point at the bottom. When I wear the shirt I feel like I should act on instinct and talk like Neal Cassady.

Me: If there is a window that you can look out while lying in bed, describe the view. If not, tell me about your girlfriend.-

Ken:
I feel like that is maybe the best interview question I've ever read. Okay. I cannot look out my window in bed, only from my desk. My girlfriend is charming and honest. She laughs when I make jokes. She is incredibly attractive, but I know that is relative to me. I think she is very attractive, that is better. She thinks I'm charming. She is an artist. Sometimes we have conversations with each other silently, and then we will speak and be talking about the same subject. It scares me. I love her very much.

Me: Reading that made me feel happy. I think I am happy for you. This will be the last question. Do you feel happier now than you did on September 10th, 2001?

Ken: If I was Fox News the answer would always be no. But, I say yes and I mean it.

video of me eating dinner

video

one week till my birthday

i feel confused and okay

i'm not sure what i want to do

07 December 2007

blog entry

i submitted to three publications

i feel worried about my personal habits

my birthday is monday december 17th

i don't know what i do for fun anymore

there were a lot more lines of text but i deleted them

05 December 2007

something i wrote a year ago

title: Fingers

body: Kevin's fingers are in my mouth. Our spines are parallel, a few feet apart. His arm is taut, reaching towards my closed mouth. His fingers are in my closed mouth. He says, "Lets get out of this stupid party." He means, "Lets kill ourselves." A few years ago he told me - first off, we're never going to kill ourselves. A few years ago, he told me about a story he wanted to write regarding a group of college professors, probably in the midwest. Sociologists, historians, philosophers. They said: "Everyone is a slave." To everything, to everything. And they banded together and took to the streets. The first house they came to, the first house they came to shrieking "You are all slaves! You are all slaves!" was filled with young black students, relaxing after a hard week of class, listening to Tupac and hollowing out blunts. Later he'll tell me he doesn't remember this. The beginning of this story never took place. He would never agree to hang out with me until after high school. And by that point he wasn't about to ask me to kill myself with him, to put his fingers in my mouth.

04 December 2007

me & eric cool

video

02 December 2007

i saw the movie Lars and the Real Girl

new video

books i had signed recently

new poem in three parts

shirley is on top of the refrigerator
she feels okay
she is happy that she is high up
she jumps to the counter and jumps to the floor and runs up the stairs and pushes open my bedroom door and jumps on my bed and stands on the window ledge between the glass and curtain and then jumps off my bed and then jumps on to the chair i am sitting in and scratches my clothes and then jumps off the chair i am sitting in and then leaves my room and lies in the hallway for a little while and then walks downstairs cautiously and then jumps on the counter and then jumps on the refrigerator

every time i type the word refrigerator i put a d in it
i am wearing two sweaters and i feel like i look weird
i think the song “range life” by pavement samples beavis and butthead but i can’t find any documentation of it on the internet

sometimes i say things about people that i don’t want them to ever hear and then worry that the people i am saying them to will know that i must say similar things about them to other people but they never seem to know that

30 November 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert is walking by train tracks. He lights a clove cigarette. He is smoking. He sees figures ahead of him. He feels nervous. He walks and comes to the figures. They are boys. He wants to say Hi or Hey but doesn’t say anything. One of the boys says “Do you have a cigarette?” and Robert starts to say Sorry but then says “Uh yeah.” He gets the pack of clove cigarettes from his back pocket and takes out a clove cigarette and hands it to the boy. The boy says “Thanks” and turns. Robert says “Do you need a light?” and the boy says “Oh, yeah.” Robert tries to light the boy’s cigarette with a match but it doesn’t work. Robert says “Shit” and starts again but one of the other boys says “I have a lighter” and the boy turns and leaves. Robert says “See ya” to the boys. Robert feels upset. Later he comes to a bridge and a man and a woman are fishing. Robert says “Any luck?” and the woman say “Some babies, had to throw’em back.” The man says “Got one nice one though” and shows Robert how big it is with his hands. Robert says, “Well, good luck.” The woman says “Thanks baby.” Robert thinks “I should have said, ‘Well, it’s a nice day for it,’ or ‘Well, it’s a hell of a nice day for it.’”

27 November 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert is lying in bed. There is a candle burning and the lights are out. He wants to take the screens out of his windows, he thinks. The door is closed. He wants something to happen. He doesn’t know what time it is. His phone rings and Travis asks him something about ID3 tags. They talk for five minutes and fifteen seconds. Robert feels a little better. He wants to eat something with potatos in it but isn’t sure. He thinks “I am in self-destruct mode and I don’t want to get out of it.” He feeds the cats and changes his shirt and pants. He looks at himself in the mirror. He wants to watch TV.

25 November 2007

new poem

there are twenty one numbers in my phone

one is my job
one is my ex-girlfriend
one is someone who said she had a huge crush on me but someone told me she is a liar and also i would never go out with this person ever
one is someone i work with
three are my parents
one is someone i really liked when we first met and i don’t like very much now but think is okay
other ones are probably that too, but that is all that that one is
one is someone who said she loves me and does and i feel sad about that
i’m not sure if i would ever go out with this person
i know i shouldn't
one is my roommate
one is someone i told i was in love with and is really nice and attractive
one is someone i used to be friends with and that i saw recently and am not sure how i feel about him
other ones are that too i think
one is someone i thought was in love with me and that made me sad but i don’t think she is anymore maybe, and i’m not sure how that makes me feel
one is someone i don’t really know and whose number i can delete probably
two are my close friends
one is someone i made out with once when i was drunk and i would make out with again i think
i’m not sure actually
one is someone who told me i don’t know much about life
two are people that are just nice, and i like
one is my boss

update

15 November 2007

video of me watching the office

14 November 2007

my longest movie yet - it's 53 minutes

13 November 2007

sad video

12 November 2007

twenty-two minute long movie of me reading lorrie moore and eating an organic apple and listening to music

10 November 2007

video of me eating an organic apple (number two)

video of me eating an organic apple

3 short poems at 3am magazine

here it is

09 November 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert looks out his bedroom window. It is Friday night. Robert needs to shave. He wants the blankets on his bed to be very heavy so when he gets under the blankets on his bed he won’t be able to move. He feels cold at a few specific points on his body. He checks his email. He looks at his shoes. He thinks of what recent choices he could have made differently to have increased his happiness. He feels thirsty. He thinks “I have a sore throat.” He looks on eBay for vintage LaCoste tennis shirts. He isn’t sure what he wants. He checks his bank statement. He reads blogs. He listens to the song Gold Soundz by Pavement. He can’t relate to it. He remembers having related to it earlier. He looks at his closed bedroom door and he feels thirsty and he feels glad that there aren’t any cats in his bedroom and he feels as though there are will be a lot of worse days before there are any better days. He feels dumb and looks at pictures of Lil’ Wayne on the internet.

01 November 2007

poem

i like the way you look and the way you talk
you’re polite
and are able to handle yourself in situations

i think you want a pleasant existence

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert wonders why he hasn’t kissed any girls in a while. Robert is taking a shower. Robert doesn’t want to go to work tomorrow. Robert isn’t sure if he should go to bed now or stay up a few more hours. Robert wishes he didn’t know he had to go to work tomorrow. Robert considers going to his job now and getting a few things done and then sleeping there and then being there tomorrow early and getting more things done. He wonders how that would work. He wonders if he should shave. He thinks about what girls find him attractive. He thinks about Justine. He considers masturbating. He feels upset. He cries, without tears or sound. In his bed, Robert cries again, in the same fashion. He pulls his curtain and looks into the street. He can see the park and the moon and the houses. No one is outside. Robert wishes it were colder out. He thinks, “Fuck.”

31 October 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert is alone. Robert eats a banana and one half of a small container of mulberries. Robert feels hungry. Robert smokes pipe tobacco. Robert walks to his computer to play the album Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain, by Pavement. Robert feels happy. Robert finishes smoking a pipe. Robert feels uneasy. Robert gets under his blanket and turns the light out. Robert’s roommate comes home. Robert smokes pot with his roommate. Robert and his roommate ride bikes to a party. Robert sees someone he knows on the way to the party and yells the person’s name and stops his bicycle and thinks he might have dropped his keys and then feels his pocket and realizes he didn’t drop his keys. Robert rides the rest of the way to the party. Robert goes inside and drinks beer and liquor. Robert feels sad. Robert longs for the girls at the party. Robert wakes up on a small sofa he remembers having sat on. Robert moves to another small sofa, closer to his friends. Robert doesn’t say anything. Robert walks to the bathroom. Robert feels upset. Robert tries to throw up. Robert’s friends say they’re going to go to a diner. One of them asks Robert if he’d like to go. Robert weighs his options. Robert doesn’t answer. Robert’s friends leave. Robert rides his bike home. Robert sleeps for four hours. Robert takes a bath. He reads the first story in Lorrie Moore’s book, Birds of America. Robert takes a shower. Robert goes to WholeFoods and buys things for dinner. Robert comes home and goes on MySpace. Then Robert makes dinner and eats it alone. Robert thinks “I wish I had a more comfortable chair to sit on while I eat dinner.” Robert washes dishes. Robert listens to the album Nothing Feels Good by The Promise Ring and talks to someone on gmail chat and someone on AIM. Robert feels bad.

27 October 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert is watching The Office. He is wearing an ash grey turtle neck and is eating corn chips with salsa. His father is close to him. A commercial comes on and Robert pauses the television program. He tells his father, “I’m going out.” Robert’s father says “Poker game?” Robert says, projecting towards the wall, “No, I’m hanging out with Lauren.” As he says this aloud he says, in his head, “No um I’m uh I’m tired ugh I feel I’m not sure of anything I’m hanging out with Lauren tonight.” Robert’s father says,” Have fun.” Outside, Robert’s mother pulls up in Robert’s father’s pickup truck while Robert is moving two lawn chairs from the back seat of his mother’s car into the trunk of his mother’s car. Robert’s mother says “Where are you going?” Robert says “I’m going over to Lauren’s.” Robert’s mom says “Well have fun. You going to be late?” Robert says “I’m not sure. Probably not.” As Robert enters the driver’s side door of his mother’s car, he thinks “Why did I phrase it like that? That implies it means something. To think to phrase it like that. That’s not how someone would naturally talk.” Robert pulls out of the drive way and drives a half a mile down the road. Robert plays the song Pop The Glock by Uffie play on the car’s stereo. Robert feels happy. Robert goes over a small bridge. Robert feels uneasy.

22 October 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

15 October 2007

cell phone

11 October 2007

downstairs, drunk people are singing along to bohemian rhapsody

i feel good

i am a little tired

i think i will feel better when i take my contacts out

i am looking forward to things

06 October 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert looks at his computer. Robert masturbates. Robert thinks "I wish I had a girlfriend. What I'm doing right now is lowering my chances of having a girlfriend." Robert ejaculates. Robert collects the semen with his hand. Robert thinks "Do I have to put on clothes to walk down the hall to the bathroom?" Robert puts on underpants. Robert walks to the bathroom, using one hand to hold his towel and the other hand to hold semen. Robert turns on the shower and puts his semen-covered hand under the water. When the water is warm enough Robert puts his body under the water. Robert thinks, "I should wash myself." Robert washes himself. Between using shampoo for the second time and using conditioner, Robert nearly falls. Robert thinks, "Whoa there."

bluck

bluck

murm

i feel confused and upset

05 October 2007

poem at 3am

http://www.3ammagazine.com/3am/i-did-something-weird-and-then-wrote-a-poem-about-it/

04 October 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

i just woke up

i had a dream that the people that work at my thrift store (though not them specifically) were driving to delaware (i think) to see my grandparents and we stopped at a gas station and for some reason i sat in the booth where the person that works in the gas station sits and the gas station was also a thrift store for some reason and a little kid asked me how much something was and i said two dollars and some one else from the gas station thrift store laughed and somehow the kid paid two quarters for it and from then on like everything was one quarter the amount the tag said or something. we became friends and somehow i had a list of all the people i met there and then their real names and it turned out it was a movie, and some of the characters were playing each other. i showed the list to someone i don't really hang out with anymore and i said "do you know any of these people?" and then immediately i realized they weren't really such famous actors. she said "some of these people play each other" but she used a phrase i had never heard before to explain it.

02 October 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

01 October 2007

tonight

i did something weird and then wrote a poem about it

i have been staying up late recently

i finished magical thinking and i am not sure if i like augusten burroughs

i am reading the divine invasion and am not sure if i like philip k. dick

i should read the fire next time and my uncle's dissertation

29 September 2007

i'm still awake and i just watched a movie with jennifer aniston and jake gyllenhaal

is this how ads look

i'm not sure.i think i look best in this one but it is blurry
i don't like this one
this one's good

i look good in this one sorry it's sideways

okay bye

28 September 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert is using Microsoft Word to write a poem. He types “when i make bank deposits / i sometimes / write your phone number instead / of my account number by / accident.” Robert highlights the entire text and presses delete. Robert pulls his curtains and looks into the street. Robert sits down and types the words “i wish i had a fucking life.” He copies the entire text and pastes it over and over.

all i do is update

i heard someone say "My one friend is the biggest collector of funk records in the state of South Carolina" in kramerbooks, dupont circle, washington dc

24 September 2007

update

i'm in new jersey

i had two doctor's appointments today

one was actually a dentist's appointment

i hung out with people and i played poker

tomorrow i'm going to washington d.c.

i'm still writing a novel

i will put part of it here in the next couple days

i think i've been in a funk or something

i'm reading magical thinking by augusten burroughs and the divine invasion by philip k. dick

like a month ago this guy that comes into the store i work at a lot said something about philip k. dick and i said "are you a dick fan" and he paused and then said "well i like his books." i wasn't trying to be a pervert. that guy is gross anyway

um

oh and then i lost the divine invasion at the store i work at and i figured it was in the bookshelves and someone would try to buy it so i put up a sign near the bookshelves saying that if anyone found it i would give them a $1 reward and then this cute girl brought it downstairs and i gave her a dollar and was so happy or surprised or something that i didn't think to like talk to a cute girl that likes philip k. dick. because she said she liked philip k. dick

i didn't think i would read books by augusten burroughs but now i'm pretty sure i'll read all of them because, well at least the stories in magical thinking are short and generally leading to one idea which he makes plain in the last paragraph. i like knowing what is going to happen. i don't specifically like his style of writing, but i like the idea of having a map. i'm not sure how much i would actually like his novels though

okay

zachary

23 September 2007

i'm tired and want to make a real post sometime but not now. i'm not tired though.

erotic attic
son, emphatic
i get my emphasis on the d-train
what can't you get
part of ho's china house
inc. philly, main

22 September 2007

my trip to new york the day before yesterday

16 September 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert feels his back pocket and realizes that he is not carrying his wallet. He returns to WholeFoods and retraces his steps home. He enjoys the opportunity to ride real slow. At home he considers writing a list of how this has changed things but instead decides "I don't know it changed some things it, whatever." He calls his bank and has his ATM card put on hold. He calls Lisa and leaves a voicemail. He spends an hour getting dressed, then carries a bottle of wine to a party. There isn't a corkscrew so he drinks beer, and then someone does something with a hammer and a screw driver and then Robert has some wine on his shirt and someone offers him an ice cube. He feels intensely sad. He has to go to work tomorrow. He smokes pot and tries to make jokes. He pulls a few people aside in order to whisper special jokes to them. Someone he knows pulls him aside and says "I just want you to know, that I know, that you're full of bullshit." Robert feels really upset. He doesn't think this is okay.
"That makes me feel sad."
She says "What?"
"I know I project that sometimes, but inside I'm really deep."
"Yeah, and that's why you're full of bullshit."
"Okay." He thinks, "She is drunk I guess. I guess this is okay." Robert feels fucked.
A girl comes towards Robert and says "Borges. I thought about it, Borges." Robert isn't sure what to say.
Later he tells someone "I need to puke" hoping the person will direct him to the street. The person directs him to the bathroom and he looks at the tiny sink and tiny toilet and feels fucked – this is futile. He goes back into the party and throws up a lot. The party seems to stop around him. He goes to the bathroom and someone he knows helps him wash his face and hands and rinse his mouth. She walks with him a few blocks and tries to walk him all the way home. He says "I definitely have it, uh, I'm definietly better than you to be walking home alone."
She says, "But you're just so drunk." At home Robert takes all of his clothes off and takes all the shit off of his bed and lies down. It's three AM. He feels happy. He puts on the song Paper Planes by M.I.A. The next day he wakes up at six forty AM and decides to get up at nine AM. He sets two alarms. It's cold. Robert closes his bedroom window. At nine AM, one of his alarms goes off and he gets up. He takes a piss and looks at himself. He puts on the song Paper Planes by M.I.A. He feels sad and weird. He feels like he'll still be pretty efficient at work today.

13 September 2007

IMPORTANT: UPDATE

I'm reading Then We Came to the End: A Novel by Joshua Ferris.

I have to pay the gas bill and the electric bill today.

I have one roommate, his name is John.

Three cats live in my house: Shirley, my cat; Zeitgeist, my old roommate Travis's old girlfriend Danielle's cat; and Conrad, John's cat.

I work Friday through Tuesday.

I feel happy some times and sad other times.

In March my lease will be up and I will move to New York City.

I am writing a novel about indecision. It is tentatively called Eat When You Feel Sad.

I have been listening to the album The Albemarle Sound by The Ladybug Transistor today. I like it a lot. It sort of reminds me of the Magnetic Fields.

the park

12 September 2007

inbox

private joints
jones jump
tea 2 leaves, shirley

it's 8 it's late
in steady, drive drunk
fuck, up

11 September 2007

gg

isn't sure
I'm having
do fleas die in summer

she's asleep
nearby

The Rolling Stones

i just erased a couple paragraphs i wrote about why i like the rolling stones

i like the rolling stones

do you like them

from Eat When You Feel Sad

Robert is lying on his bed. Robert is sweating. Robert looks at his fan. Robert looks out the window at a fenced in area across the street. Robert thinks about his novel. Robert moves to his computer and opens the file novel.doc and presses print and nothing happens and Robert realizes his computer isn’t connected to his printer and Robert looks for the printer cable and doesn’t find it and feels sad and sweaty. Robert looks at his cat and smells cat piss. Robert looks out the window. Robert thinks “I can’t have girls over because my house smells like cat piss.” Robert thinks “When I go to girls’ houses I offend them by hating their friends.” Robert feels weird. Robert takes off his clothes and looks out his bedroom window. Robert looks at his clock. It is 9:40 AM. Robert turns on the radio and tries to find the hip hop station. Robert looks at the cat litter box. Robert goes to the bathroom and picks up the litter scoop and the grocery bag and brings them to his bedroom and scoops cat shit and piss into the grocery bag and then brings the litter scoop and the grocery bag back into the bathroom. Robert takes a piss and looks at his bathroom floor. Robert thinks “If I scrubbed all the floors in my house my house wouldn’t smell so much like cat piss.” Robert feels poor for the first time since he was in middle school. Robert takes a shower. Robert walks to his bedroom and sits on his bed and wipes the dirt off his feet and puts on socks and puts on underwear and puts on jeans and puts on a t-shirt and then takes off the t-shirt and puts on a collared shirt and then puts on a tie and a tie clip. Robert looks at a glass of water and then drinks from it. Robert is listening to the new Animal Collective album. Robert checks his email. Robert has no new email. Robert looks at his cat and thinks about letting his cat run free. Robert thinks about red wagons. Robert wants to call someone. Robert feels happy that he doesn’t have work today. Robert thinks “I could quit my job.” Robert thinks “If I had a newspaper I would look in it for jobs.” Robert punches himself in the chest as hard as he can. Robert thinks about cutting himself. Robert thinks about burning himself. Robert puts on other music. Robert calls Lisa and leaves a voicemail. Robert thinks about punching through his screen. Robert punches his pillow. Robert thinks about crying. Robert thinks about having sex. Robert tries to masturbate but fails to maintain an erection. Robert is crying. Robert kicks his fan. Robert holds his foot. Robert wiping his tears on his sleeve. Robert looks at himself in the mirror. Robert loosens his tie and undoes his top button. Robert wishes he had beer. Robert takes off all his clothes. Robert lies in his bed for two hours with his eyes closed. Robert puts on shorts and goes downstairs and sits on his stoop. Robert goes inside and pours a glass of water and is careful not to let the cat run away. Robert thinks of going to his parents’ house. Robert thinks of different things he could be doing right now. Robert calls Emily and leaves a voicemail. Robert wonders if he’s gay. Robert wishes he had beer so he could go to sleep. Robert isn’t sure what to do. Robert brings a tray of ice cubes to his bedroom and takes off his shorts and lies in bed and places icecubes on his stomach.

07 September 2007

i just formatted my 250gb external harddrive by accident and now i don't have anything to do. maybe this is good

drunk shower take it from a soldier my mind is cold from showers and gold
my hair gets wet i forget

"how many times are you gonna make me do this
say this i'm sayin though believe me
one time this is gonna
you don't believe me i'm sayin though"

06 September 2007

zen microsystems

05 September 2007

hj

04 September 2007

my friend jack eats sugar lumps

03 September 2007

coi

01 September 2007

from Love This Fuccin Guy

yeah
so we ridin through
in the exotic coupe
with the divided roof

yeah
we on melrose
we like models too
like "how you do
you eat fruit
me too"

--lil' wayne

31 August 2007

State

30 August 2007

post

on the track got a gat eat a dick
snitches get flowers in the attic
tigers and suck my toes, chronic by the lake
picture an exotic animal caged up like you wouldn't believe
you read my thoughts while i'm stunning while i can't believe you

live in my shit your world is mine i live forever you live for me

28 August 2007

UPDATE

I am going to New York City tonight.

I feel happy.

I found issue 181 of the Paris Review and the remote control to my MacBook under my bed.

24 August 2007

from "Eat When You Feel Sad"

Robert is lying on his bed. He is hung over. He is wearing white underwear and blue socks. The cats are in his room. He’s reading. He puts the book down. He looks at his new nightstand. He thinks about applying for a credit card so that a few years down the line he can have a really huge credit limit and max it out opening an organic restaurant. He thinks about killing himself. He says “I think I.”

08 August 2007

Somnambulist

28 July 2007

nothing

i fed the cat today. i fed it one half of one standard measuring cup (8 oz.)

i fed danielle's cat too.

last night i started watching alice's restaurant but i can never watch movies anymore.

i read all of tao lin's books.

i love corn.

travis asked who should play todd solondz in our movie and i said ben affleck and he said but what about when he's young and i said ben affleck and he said but what about like when he's really young and i said i don't know i don't know any child actors and he said how about haley joel osment and i said i think he's like twenty and he said about that harry potter kid and i said i don't know.

27 July 2007

Homecoming

i'm in philadelphia

i want fire

i saw a fire yesterday

someone said "is that legal" and someone said "you need a permit. it would have passed, but they don't have a permit"

i said "did you ask if they had a permit"

and he said "no"

then he had to go talk

then he had to walk by me to talk more and he said "but i doubt it"

i am at work

it starts soon

i am very aware that i am writing differently than i ever do because i am pressing enter twice after every thought sort of

i want i don't know what i want

25 July 2007

S.

Sometimes I look at New York City's Craigslist and wonder if I can move to New York City. I don't think I can. I think I am totally going to die. I am moving to New York in March. If I stay in Philadelphia it will be fine and I will never have physical discomfort. I think I should apply to college. I am at my parents' house in New Jersey. I think I will go for a car ride. I need to wash my clothes. Tomorrow I am going to a flea market. I want to listen to Spiritualized in the car. I want to buy a lot of money for a medium amount of money. I want to buy $4,500 for $280.

22 July 2007

Lisbon

Travis and Zac are walking east on Oregon Ave. Zac says "This is just like New Jersey." Later someone goes by on a motorcycle. He passes Zac and Travis and then speeds up considerably. His front wheel is off the ground.
Travis says "Holy shit dude."
Zac says "I wish he would fall."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah I would totally run. I would over to the accident and suck its dick."
"You would suck that guy's dick?"
"No I mean... I would suck the accident's dick."
"Yeah." Travis and Zac are walking east on Oregon Avenue. They go past a steak place. "It'd be pretty funny if he fell off his motorcycle and you ran over and sucked his dick. He would be bleeding and unconscious and shit."
"Yeah that would be hilarious." Travis and Zac are both laughing. "Do you know what would be hilarious? If a kid went up to his dad and was like 'I pooped into my pants.'" Travis doesn't laugh at first, then kind of does.
"Yeah."
"That stuff is sort of like a Todd Solondz movie."
"Todd Solondz wouldn't do that."
"Maybe he wants to. Maybe we could sell it him."
"Todd Solondz doesn't go far enough."
"Maybe we could call the character Todd Solondz. He says 'I pooped into my pants' and then walks in on his dad giving his business partner head and when Todd Solondz asks his dad why his dad says 'It makes my business partner feel better' and then when Todd Solondz sees the guy in the motorcycle accident he could go suck his dick because he thinks it'll make him feel better."
"Yeah." Travis and Zac come to a fence covered in razor wire.

20 July 2007

Sea Story

19 July 2007

I was looking for a hat and then I found a hat and heaven knows I'm miserable now

I just went to U S Copy Center at 1541 Spring Garden Street. I went to get a fake ID. Their fake IDs were sooooo fake. On the back they have a disclaimer:

This is not government-issued identification. This information on the other side of this card is deemed accurate for at least one of the following reasons. The cardholder:
1. Showed a valid government issued photo ID with the aforementioned information.
2. Signed a liability waiver.

It was so stupid. I said "nevermind" and got the hell out of there. That's not exactly what the card said, I made that part up from memory. I definitely said "nevermind" though.

Evisu Jeans Size 28 Waist Ice Creams A Bathing Ape Bape

A premise: travelers are stranded on an uninhabited land which turns out to be significantly easier to live on than this one, allowing for wholly existential dilemmas, as well as hilarity.

I'm carrying a banana peel. A woman is walking a dog and holding a sandwich bag containing a small amount of dog shit. The sidewalk becomes narrow, I stop to let the woman go by. She stops and says "Why don't you put that in here." I make the banana peel compact and put it in the sandwich bag. I say "Thank you." Her expression is one of routine.

I got a facebook.

I'm moving to New York City in March.

16 July 2007

16/07/07

one (n.) ... 16. a person indefinately; any one of us all: "as good as one would desire." 17. a person of the speaker's kind; such as the speaker himself: "to press one's own claims."

The American College Dictionary
© Copyright, 1959, by Random House, Inc.

I meant for this post to be a discussion for how rappers use the phrase "a nigga" in place of "one," as define above. I was in the public library at Broad and Morris though, and everyone there was black, and I wasn't sitting in a corner, and I was afraid to type the word "nigga." Now I just don't feel like its an interesting topic. Just so you know though. I wrote this last part on July 19th.

07 July 2007

I can't feel my face is getting started

I wake up in March 2006. I wake up in Williamsburg. I’ve never been here before. There’s no Lil’ Wayne on my iPod. There is Best Fwends and Parts and Labor. There is Explosions in the Sky. I’m sort of feeling like I don’t know where I’m going to be soon. Its cold and I pull blankets over me. She’s not here. I take a shower later. I look out the window. I eat cereal with rice milk. Later she comes home. She got DVDs. Something’s happening. I meet her roommates. I don’t have my ATM card. I don’t have much cash. It’s snowing. I look at her bike. She goes to The New School or NYU or else she works at a magazine. I don’t understand where I am. I pretty much just stay in her room. I don’t understand the rhythms of these songs. I don’t want to listen to them. I listen to Eluvium. I don’t want to smoke pot but I do when her roommates ask me if I want to. I don’t know where she goes. She cooks food. I don’t like her food. I don’t like her at all. I don’t know how to get out of here. I call a couple people during the day, when she's gone. One day I call her and tell her I’m sick and ask her if she can pick me up some medicine or something. I feel really sick. I feel like I’m not going to be able to get out of here. I buy Vitamin Water. It’s July 2007. I wanted to see The New Pornographers in Battery Park but I miss it somehow. I don’t have a Metrocard. Part of me knows I’m still in Philadelphia and I’m having my own problems there but I guess a bigger part thinks that since I started drinking again I’ve been living in this young woman’s apartment in Williamsburg. She has a tattoo of birds and the Brooklyn Bridge, I guess, on her back. I see it now as she sleeps. Her name is. She has blonde hair. Her name is Sonja. She met me because she wants to make me feel better. I can't understand why people aren't happy with me for pretending to be so nice, I pretend to be I'm so nice. She’s five feet seven inches. Did I say she has blonde hair? She does. She buys me books. I don’t really read. I don’t think I really move. By the end I just lay on her bed all day long. Its June 2007 and I'm into the song Ay Bay Bay. Before it was mostly Buy You A Drink. Now I'm downloading the Kanye West remix from Acquisition. She comes back. I tell her I kind of want to go home. I don’t know what’s going to be waiting for me. I don’t know what’s going to be waiting for me.

04 July 2007

Ay Bay Bay

02 July 2007

untitled, march 2007

Don't cry – it is to be.
In time I'll take away your miseries and make them mine.
--Jay-Z

Don’t know why he’s calling me and answering my calls and picking me up and paying for my milkshakes, don't know why he's driving me home, why he's watching television with me listening to me talk about my parents and about my friends and about school, smoking pot with me, I don’t know why he’s drinking with me and kissing me. I don’t know why he’s touching my ass and I don’t know why he’s driving me to school, I don’t know why he’s texting me and I don’t know why he’s instant messaging me at three in the morning, why he’s asking me to pick him up, and I don't know why I’m picking him up. I don't know why he’s telling me to go to this place I’ve never been to before, why he’s acting like it hasn’t been months, why he dropped out of school, why he’s telling me to go to this town I’ve never been to before, why he’s telling me that we should be together, and then when I ask him what he means why he’s telling me we need to get home, why he wants to get back to that place, ever, anyway.

01 July 2007

There is a light that never goes out

30 June 2007

Rain rain is coming down all over me I see it rain rain coming down rain rain its pouring down rain rain its coming down all over me

My friend is sitting on the bed. My eyes are cold and I don't want to wake up. She goes downstairs and a few minutes later I hear a door close and I run downstairs and I'm glad she's in the kitchen and we go outside. Later I say "Why did you say I had to walk you here? Why did you say I couldn't just meet you at noon when you were done?" The reality that I'm positing is the opposite of what really took place. We are sitting near a church. I'm tired. She is going to translate for people who want to learn about low-income housing from people who know about low-income housing. I keep acting like I don't know little things that we're both aware I know. I don't know how I'm going to get back to Philadelphia. I mean I know I'm going to take the bus but when? I'm nervous to go home. I'm nervous to see my room-mate. I'm nervous to see the cats. I have work tomorrow, that will be fun. The next day I have off. I will buy a dust-mask and clean my basement. My basement will be really clean. On July 20th I'm having a party you guys should come. If you want to read or play music you can. Get in touch with me.

28 June 2007

Tonight at the KGB Bar

I didn't bring my camera. I saw Ned and we talked to a young woman who works for the magazine Stop Smiling. Her name was Hannah. Ned said things like that he didn't really know many people who didn't graduate high school. I felt kind of weird and Alex came and the three of us and Ned's girlfriend introduced eachother. Outside Justin Taylor came and he was cool. He is fact-checking for an anthology of movie reviews from the fifties and sixties I think. Then Tao and Noah came and we went upstairs. Later Tony came with his wife who was video-taping everything. She was really nice and said nice things about my reading in Park Slope. I talked to Noah for a minute and Tao too I didn't get to talk to them much. I didn't talk to Ellen Kennedy at all but I shook her hand twice. Tony read first and was really good. He read a selection from his just finished novel. He's so nice, but for some reason I had never made enough of an effort to read any of his work. I guess I thought I wouldn't like stories with drugs in them, but his was really great. I was totally enthralled. Then Ned read a story. Actually I don't remember who went first Tony or Ned but I think it was Tony. Ned's story was about a young woman at a cafe. I wasn't able to follow the plot for some reason. Tao's stories were really funny. Especially his one page synopsis of EEE. Then there was a break and I read. I was so nervous. I can't begin to tell you how nervous or something I was. Then Ellen Kennedy read a short poem about things she didn't like, I guess. And some things she liked? Finally, Noah Cicero read. His story was really powerful. He read for a long time but it just got better as it went on. I'm thinking of how he could have improved on it but I can't think of any ways.

Eleven piece sweater

The home made ice tea is filling me up and I have to pee as we walk holding hands back to one of our houses. Her hand is damp from holding the home made ice tea. I want to shout at her or something. We get there and she looks for her keys and finds her keys. We make it as far as the living room. She sets her keys down on a table. She picks up her cell phone which she had left on the table where she sets down her keys. She listens to a voice mail while I pee. Later we watch Kinsey. In the Chinese restaurant the lights went out for a little while. All the lights on whatever street we were on went out. It was around nine o'clock.

27 June 2007

Ten piece sweater

They take their time going out. The ball of my hand, my ass, are touching the window ledge. She's wearing jeans and is smoking in the doorway. We're at Ho's China House Inc. This is when the lights go out in a Chinese take-out place. I don't try to do anything. She's still smoking and I don't know. I guess I let whatever happens happen. Later we're in one of our houses and we're sleeping. I try not to kick her as I get out of bed. I go to the bathroom. I run the water as I pee. I brush my teeth with my finger. I go back to the bedroom and take off my pants and t-shirt. I try not to kick her as I get into bed. I try not to kick her as I get out of bed. I turn off the television. I try not to kick her as I get into bed.

22 June 2007

Fail-Safe (1964)

This is a blog about movies I watch with my parents while text-messaging. It is a forum for the discussion of which movie characters I would want to spend time with.

Ilsa Woolfe, portrayed by Nancy Berg, was alright, but I wouldn't want to have to go with her forever. She was really excited by the prospect of nuclear war, and made it plain to Prof. Groeteschele, ably played by Walter Matthau. He slapped her. I like that she liked nuclear war, I guess, but didn't really like that she was excited by something. If it was all she thought about, but like she didn't want to talk about it because she knew it wouldn't be worth it or something, it would be a lot more hot. She had pretty earrings though. It was scary to see a man slap a woman in a movie.

Col. Jack Grady (Ed Binns), was the pilot who dropped the bomb on Moscow despite the insistence of the President of the United States (Henry Fonda) and his wife (Janet Ward) that it was a mistake. It was a mistake, as the unidentified flying object entering the United States from the north was not an enemy bomber but only a malfunctioning commercial aircraft. A lot of computer problems happen, and whatever. It was cool seeing Grady refuse to listen to the President and his wife. Apparently after a certain point, the crew is supposed to disregard all verbal communication, as it could be the enemy in disguise. So he disregarded whatever, and its just, like the hugest awful tragedy ever. I'd have liked to talk to him sometimes, before that, but afterwards it would be too hard. Same with everybody else, everybody would probably be too sad.

16 June 2007

The darkness is an insect

Saw Chris Garneau and Luke Temple last night. Garneau is really terrific technically at playing piano and sings really delicate lyrics really delicately, like how his teacher died and even the frying pan cried. Luke Temple uses a falsetto.


Watched Smooth Talk (1985) for the second time last night. I guess Laura Dern was 18 in that movie. She's a great actress. That movie is nothing but cringing. Everything is bad and is a clue that it will get worse. The last five minutes are the scariest I think. Its a good movie to watch though I don't think I liked it the first time I did and I guess most people never would.


I guess I'll try to listen to Nine Inch Nails. Gina Gionfriddo's Radcliffe, Shelley, Freud, Reznor in this month's Believer makes him like something. Essay weirdly failed to discuss most recent album save for a brief Reznor press release. Makes With Teeth sound cool, which is something I hadn't heard before. I don't know.

15 June 2007

Person Pitch


In The Bedroom
(2001) was OK. I liked how the murdered boy (Nick Stahl)'s parents (Tom Wilkinson and Sissy Spacek) turned on each-other so hard after his murder. Their insults were unfounded and incredibly hurtful and it was interesting to watch. I liked the title fonts. I didn't like the title of the movie I don't think. When one of his friends was talking to Wilkinson about Stahl's girlfriend (Marissa Tomei)'s butt, I totally cringed. Um I liked one shot where it shows Wilkinson and Spacek's noses and how weird they are.


This is a cat that I haven't named. Mike called it Squeaks when it lived in his warehouse. I was calling it Shirley for a few minutes the other night, but I don't think it stuck. I don't know if I should call it anything. I don't think it notices if I call it things. I don't think it likes Zig very much. They just kind of shriek at each-other when I let them in the same place. But its good at litter boxes and eats and drinks and gets in the way when I'm trying to use the computer.


For the first time ever I wish I had read JT Leroy. Like before the article, so I could have an opinion now or like a memory of thinking it was whatever. I mean I guess I'll probably read the books now when it at some point becomes really convenient, just so I can think whatever. I mean I don't have to from all reports they're not great. I'm not sure.

14 June 2007

Can we go somewhere please

13 June 2007

Now its $2.50

08 June 2007

Somebody told me

06 June 2007

Just Do The Right Thing

This movie does not have great and evil characters. That's great and difficult. Art that shows the world as dichotomous is easy, even as satire. Parts of this movie didn't make sense. Why isn't Sal furious at Mookie for throwing a garbage can through his store window, effectively starting the riot which leads to its destruction? He seems mad, sure, but I don't know. Maybe he was just broken or something. Mookie seems to enjoy Tina's company; why choose to abandon her so much of the time? That's an awful thing to do, and seemingly needlessly so.


*

I'm going to New Jersey tonight, I might not be back until later! I think a good visual for posts where I write about movies would be a photo of me watching the discussed movie.

05 June 2007

Nowhere I'm nailed to the floor

Saw Mira Nair's new film, The Namesake, last night. I liked watching an arranged couple fall in love. They both seemed like really good people. I liked to watch people show understanding, even when other people are being awful.

04 June 2007

A mountain

01 June 2007

Regroup

29 May 2007

On the piano

25 May 2007

Smoking and age

22 May 2007

Long hair don't care

20 May 2007

Joe Aust

"Seduction is for sissies; a he-man wants his rape!"
--Andrea Dworkin, quoting Ogden Nash in "Pornography: Men Possessing Women" (1981)

The original source is a poem published here.

Last night I had a pleasant dinner at a restaurant called Left Bank on 18th Street NW in the Adam's Morgan neighborhood of Washington, DC. I had an arugula salad (salty, plus had cheese that I don't think was mentioned in the menu; $7), a hot and sour soup (also salty; $6), and avocado sushi (fine, actually; $4). We sat down at around 7:30 as the first customers of the evening, and when we left an hour later it had reached perhaps half occupancy. I don't know it was fine. The drink list seemed kind of bad. There were two women there with really short skirts. I don't know anything else about them. My cousins Jesse and Chrissy ate too. They had chicken and tuna, respectively, which they each seemed to enjoy. I don't know enough about DC to have much of an opinion of it but it seemed like there weren't any "hipsters" there. That's an okay thing to say.

19 May 2007

Go

Scarface