07 April 2008

'return to the 36 chambers - the dirty version'

i listened to the first ol' dirty bastard record the other day for the first time in a couple years

i listened to it two more times since then

i like it

it is called 'return to the 36 chambers - the dirty version'

i think the album has qualities that people who write for magazines would call 'raw'

the ol' dirty bastard sounds 'confused' and 'angry'

in the song 'raw hide,' the ol' dirty bastard says 'i wanna see blood / whether it's period blood / or bustin' your fuckin' face / some blood!'

i like it when the ol' dirty bastard says that

the ol' dirty bastard says other things that i like

i had stopped caring about the wu tang clan by the time the ol' dirty bastard died



i spent my sunday with the only black god also.

though i perused nigga please.

'i'm the cunt breath asshole eater/and if you let me physically in, [burpnoise]'


it only gets {burpnoise} rather

TTB said...

Today I read your writing for the first time ever.

I haven't read any of it since.

I read your piece "Eat When You Feel Sad."

I haven't read it again.

I think it has qualities that the American Mystic Man calls "unadventerous," "unmystic," "tedious, "lame."

I never read much of your stuff before.

But today as I slept on a hillside covered in ash.
I did something.
You were not paying attention.
You didn't notice at all.
But I was there.
And you were there.
But it happened deep within you.
And you don't listen to that part of you very often. I can tell.
And that's why you never heard it.
But I will tell you the story now.
Because I think it's important for you to hear. So please. Bear with the Mystic Man...

TTB said...

This is the type of things that happen to you. That you never notice.
These are the moments.
That create my mystic nature:

At one time there was always darkness, never daylight. I put on my raven skin and left the heavens, flying across the water for a long time. When I got tired, I dropped a little round stone that my father, the chief had given me. Then I flew east again until I reached the mainland.

There I scattered Bud Lights-in cans and bottles all over the cities. I put one on your doorstep. I said, "Let every river and creek have all kinds of liquids. Let every man, woman and child rock hard with the king of beers. Let every mountain, hill, valley and plain be filled with these!"

When the sky in this world of darkness was clear, a little light came from the stars, but when it was cloudy there was only black night. The people were distressed by this, and I was too when I realized how hard it would be to get beer to the people in the dark.

There is light where I come from.
I made up my mind to bring it down.
For you. Zachary.

Putting on my raven skin, I flew upward until I found the hole in the sky and went through. I took off the raven skin and placed it near the hole.
Then I traveled until I came to a spring near the house of the chief of heaven.
There he sat down and waited.

Soon his daughter appeared. With a bucket to fetch water. When I saw her coming I transformed myself into a Bud Light and float on the water. She saw the Bud Light and got it and drank it up hard.

After a short time she was with child, and soon she gave birth to a boy. The chief and his wife were delighted and took care of the baby as he grew strong. Then however, he began to cry, "Party! Party!" all the time. Nothing they could do would soothe him.
Finally the chief called together all the wise men and asked why the baby was crying.

One of the wise men told him that "Party," in some peoples languages means "let me see the light."

There was the box in which the daylight was kept and which hung in one corner of the chief's house.

It was what I remember when I descended to our world.

The chief immediately ordered it taken down and placed near the fire.

Suddenly the boy stopped crying and began to roll with the box.
He played with it for four days.
Until the chief became so usd to the game that he did not notice the child or the box.
Then the boy (who of course was me, TTB, your American Mystic Man) grabbed the box, which is a twelve pack of Bud Light bottles and put it on my shoulders.

I reached the hole in the sky, put on the raven skin, and flew down carrying the box, and his pursuers went back home.

I got back home.
And I started walking to your house in the dark.
After awhile I heard a noise of some people drinking organic drinks and eating tofu.
It was you. Zachary.
It was Tao Lin.
It was all of the members of G-Unit.
I asked you to stop it.
To drink Bud Light instead.
You said no.
You knew it was me, TTB.
You know who I am.

"Stop it or I'll break this box of daylight!"

I said.

Still you scolded TTB. And taunted me.

I repeated my request for a long time.
Then I broke the box.
Suddenly there was daylight.

The north wind began to blow and you, Tao Lin and all of G-unit, who were actually frogs, were driven down a river until you arrived at a large, mountainous island. Here you and the other frogs tried to climb up, but you were frozen by the icy wind and turned into lame, unadventerous writers who lie stuck to a rock afraid to ever move again.

You are there to this day, and to this day all the world has daylight.

This is what we intend to do to you.
You will realize the truth that lies in this tale soon.

Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul.

I am the sun shine that you shade your eyes from.
I am the piece of deer meat hiding in your vegan alternative meal.

I am crying for you.
Just two tears.